yeah i dont know about coco’s anymore.. its so goddamn easy and im only working 2 shifts a week and it suits me.. so im staying with it.. the only shitty thing is working on sunday mornings at 8.30 with a hangover.. aside from that.. its fine and they have these new weight watcher muffins and they are GREAT!!! so once i lose some goddamn weight ill quit coco’s and become a stripper.. lol.. done and done. oh i'm going to hervey bay! for a holiday. i'll be looking good and going on holiday! last time i was there, they screwed up my accomodation and i ended up going to Peppers Pier Resort which was really nice.


i dont know what the hell to do with mitch.. i seriously.. fuck me stacy.. wtf do i do.. hes refers to me as his best friend..but he says stuff like ' you look pretty today' and 'damn you have a nice ass' etc etc and i guess is playful and flirty and that.. its typical i-like-you-more-than-a-friend behaviour.. but yeah maybe it isnt.. anyway today i went over to his to watch a movie and do the garden and we were just chilling and stuff.. and i was being really good (i dont have the confidence to flirt like mad anyway) and we were making his bed and that and somehow... (i bet you're thinking 'here we go...') we ended up kissing and grinding and im like oh shitt damnit i hate myself.. the thing is stacy.. im starting to like him all over again... (are you thinking "HOW?" .. yeah, so am i.. but i do and its something i wouldnt just say if i hadnt really thought about what it meant..) and so im thinking this is not good.. its unhealthy its self destructive etc.. so heres what im going to do.. im going to write a letter (mostly because i cant say it to his face and i want to get the words right .. we used to write each other letters all the time anyway) saying we're either best friends/ friends or we're together.. none of this in between crap. and if he doesnt want either than we should really part ways and get to know other people.of course it wont be as blunt as that but yeah.. hopefully he'll get the fricking point because im tired of hating myself everytime i drive home from his place. the sex part is the saddest.. i really dont get that much out of it aside from the fact that he still wants me.. even if its only physically.. man that sentence is really depressing.. fuck im pathetic.